great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize