I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's the barista slut.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
