I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
