I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
