My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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