I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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