The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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