You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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