I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my liver is dry heaving
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
