thus making me awesome and them whores
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
