Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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