What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
