so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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