its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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