oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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