I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
