I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
