You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
