if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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