Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
