I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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