meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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