SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
