The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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