I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
