i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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