it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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