i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
