Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize