so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize