in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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