Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pooping to opera.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
