office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
