You surviving the open bar?
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Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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