I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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