Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
