PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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