apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
