Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
