Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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