The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize