Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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