I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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