Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
