You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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