I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
