We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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