Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
