i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
