Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"