Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.

(734): View more from Michigan

What'd you do?

(313): View more from Michigan

Its more like what im about to do.

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(313): I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight. (734): What'd you do? (313): Its more like what im about to do. http://tfl.nu/2yqx

Replies (6) Good night (3775) Bad night (796)
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(904): View more from Florida

He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

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(904): He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator". http://tfl.nu/yo1x

Replies (59) Good night (1166) Bad night (6079)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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(865): that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is. http://tfl.nu/8h8l

Replies (41) Good night (1305) Bad night (5906)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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(306): and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up http://tfl.nu/qck7

Replies (77) Good night (1047) Bad night (7974)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar

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(317): Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar http://tfl.nu/plcg

Replies (13) Good night (5745) Bad night (1251)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.

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(508): I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/gqi2

Replies (8) Good night (5321) Bad night (1478)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

(860): View more from Connecticut

So?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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(978): You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing (860): So? (978): This is why you shouldn't make decisions http://tfl.nu/yiev

Replies (4) Good night (3584) Bad night (936)
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(516): View more from New York

Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box

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(516): Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box http://tfl.nu/dk8b

Replies (9) Good night (726) Bad night (1643)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.

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(617): The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead. http://tfl.nu/eujj

Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (584)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.

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(541): Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion. http://tfl.nu/wgt6

Replies (4) Good night (918) Bad night (513)
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(830): View more from Texas

I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time

(830): View more from Texas

well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from

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(830): I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time (830): well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from http://tfl.nu/l1gr

Replies (8) Good night (1458) Bad night (533)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.

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(803): I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do. http://tfl.nu/jefl

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (411)
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(770): View more from Georgia

How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested

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(770): How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested http://tfl.nu/aiir

Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (334)
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(559): View more from California

They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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(559): They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts. http://tfl.nu/pgwh

Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (416)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

On the bright side I still got laid

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(920): You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster.. (1-920): On the bright side I still got laid http://tfl.nu/wjnz

Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (433)

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