you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.