This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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