Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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