yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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