YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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