You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
