Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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