why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
