so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need moral support for this bender
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
