clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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