And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
