I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
