he thought i was a dude.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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