im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.