forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.