Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (976)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

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  (608): NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/icmx
  Replies (11) Good night (2155) Bad night (1039)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2254) Bad night (667)
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  (626): View more from California

  I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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  (626): I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there. http://tfl.nu/iwr8
  Replies (4) Good night (1740) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.

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  (678): I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos. http://tfl.nu/fnmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1075) Bad night (571)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?

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  (678): Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail? http://tfl.nu/41r0
  Replies (9) Good night (1050) Bad night (581)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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  (+44): I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten. http://tfl.nu/hxkk
  Replies (1) Good night (1394) Bad night (570)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.

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  (608): Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants. http://tfl.nu/jnxo
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (452)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.

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  (785): I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright. http://tfl.nu/s51t
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car

  (831): View more from California

  Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU

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  (415): She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car (831): Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU http://tfl.nu/qj3f
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes

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  (315): Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes http://tfl.nu/v7ud
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.

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  (818): I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish. http://tfl.nu/82ma
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.

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  (713): you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss. http://tfl.nu/b25s
  Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day

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  (847): We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day http://tfl.nu/szgm
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.

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  (+61): Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks. http://tfl.nu/hhzp
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (216)

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