East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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