like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
whose ass print is on the piano?
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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