idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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